Screams from the Porch endorsements

This post marks the first time Screams from the Porch endorses a political candidate(s). Yeah, real objective, I know.

If you don't like it, go cry to your mamas. I don't cover these people anyway.

For Knoxville mayor, SFTP picks Big Bo Bennett. Why? Why not? It would be funny if he won.

“Now what,” he'd ask.

Heh.

For City Council, at large Seat C, SFTP endorses that lady. I like Finbarr Saunders because he complemented me on my scraggly beard in a no-doubt attempt to suck up to me. I like Ron Peabody because whenever I post about him and the homeless, a handful of people comment lots and lots of times on the blog. I think there's another person running. Not sure. Heck, I don't even know the woman's name SFTP endorsed. But who cares? Right? I mean you all vote blindly along party lines anyway. Screw qualifications.

For City Council, at Large Seat A, SFTP endorses Michael McBath. Why? See the mayoral race.

For City Council, at large Seat B, SFTP endorses the one with the funniest haircut.

For Municipal Court Judge, SFTP endorses John R. Rosson Jr. Why? Cause he's unopposed. And he's the freakin' judge right now. And SFTP doesn't want to pi--, er upset, the judge.

For 6th District State Senate, SFTP endorses Mike Donila as a write-in candidate. He doesn't vote, he doesn't live in the district and he really doesn't care what you think. He'd be perfect for the seat.