Tony Norman: They're drinking what??!!

Sometimes the county commission meetings crack me up. Like yesterday's meeting. Or all of them actually.

Yeah, I'm rambling. OK, during yesterday's work session – as commissioners were reading through the consent agenda (those are the issues they rubber stamp) – Commissioner Tony Norman, also a teacher, asked about a school item.

Apparently, the school board is set to approve an annual contract for $750,000 “with Coca-Cola Refreshments for water, flavored water and low calorie isotonic beverages.”

Huh? What the $&!! is a “low calorie isotonic beverage? And no, I'm not going to Google it. It was a rhetorical question. But I still don't know the answer.

Anyhoo, Norman asked why the board wants to spend money on flavored water and “not just water.”

I don't think he knows what a low calorie isotonic beverage is, either. Heh.

But, Lord Jim McIntyre, superintendent of the Knox County school system, was on hand. And he knows the answer. I think.

McIntyre explained that the contract is part of the Schools School Nutrition program (whatever that is) and it includes soda, water and sports drinks. He said the program is funded by a variety of things that I didn't bother to write down because the guy talks super fast.

(He said something about Powerade, which is a Coke product, so I guess students drink that. But, I digress.)

What's key here, is that whole thing is self-financing so it's not a major cost to the county or the school system.

And, heck, it's all about variety. (kind of like my liquor cabinet.)

Norman, however, wasn't so sure.

“It sounds like water to me and we probably have some of the best tap water in the United States,” he said. “And regardless of how it's funded, it's still money.”

Commissioner Mike Brown, at that point, chimed in: “I just want to go on record as saying I favor RC Cola.

(Heck yeah!)

Commissioner Amy Broyles also chimed in. I can't remember what exactly she said, but it sounded like she hates strawberry and chocolate flavored milk as much as Norman doesn't like Powerade. Or she doesn't want the students to have them. Or something.

Referring to water, she said she'd rather see the students “turn on the tap.”

The whole mess was eventually recommended for approval.

I know feel a little dumber telling you all about the commission's drinking preference. Or how what they think others should drink.

Or whatever.